Hurting People Hurt People

You know… I had a hard lesson this morning that just reaffirmed this to me – again.

But this time I was the hurt person that hurt someone else. Not intentionally but really just by accident.

I have a “go to” friend that will let me vent and bitch about things and people that she barely knows but she will let me bitch about stupid stuff and I do the same for her. It is kind of our way of dealing with the world around us without taking out on people that done deserve it. This morning I sent her an email about a coworker of mine… BUT… accidentally sent it to the coworker. I was in a bad mood… and had a terrible week last week, weekend was ok but not a lot better, didn’t sleep much, battling a major sinus infection and have a splitting headache to where my eyes hurt. Bless her heart she was chatty about her wonderful weekend and all the cute things her baby started doing, and I emailed my friend (who doesn’t work with me) that this person’s happy babbling was getting on my last nerve. Somehow my email went to her and not my friend.

Great.  I wasn’t being ugly about her happiness… she deserves to be happy and have the little joys of baby milestones. I just am not the happy sounding board today. I wish I had some little things like that to be happy about. In the last year not only have I buried my own mother but two weeks ago I buried my husband’s mother. I have used most of my vacation time and personal time this year – and last year- for sick kids or dying parents. I have a teenager starting high school and feel like I am physically falling apart.

So, here is my point… hurting people hurt people. I lashed out at the only person around me that was actually happy today. What does that make me? Mean… it makes me mean.

I don’t like to be mean. Mean people suck. 

Every day I am hit with a barrage of negativity. First thing in the morning…usually the last thing I hear before I go to bed is something negative. And it is turning me into a negative person from the inside. It takes its toll on me over time and I begin to thing negatively, talk negatively and act negatively. I physically hurt, I mentally hurt, and with everything that has happened in the last year I am struggling to breathe… But that doesn’t give me the right to say anything negative about anyone else. Even if I don’t intend to hurt someone else somehow it happens… and what do you do? Do what I did… Own it…apologize, tell them it wasn’t really about them, and hope they understand and move on. She may not talk to me any more this year but I guess I deserve that. 

Clearing the Fog

Why is there a fear of the past?

You lived it…

You survived it…

So – Learn from it.

Own it – because it is part of what made you who you are!

Then… you can tell your story as only you can tell it.  Enlighten the world and make it a better place. In freeing yourself you end up giving others the courage to take that first step, own their past and begin living in the present and for their future.

So many people are walking around in the fog of their past. Not living in the present because the past is so heavy on their shoulders. Cast it off! Be done with it because your past does not control you! Do not allow anything negative that has happened to you dictate who you are! Your life is YOURS… walk in the glory of who you are!! You are a one of a kind, unique creation of God! 

My husband keeps our house on 69 degrees in the summertime. When I walk outside my sunglasses immediately get foggy because of the temperature and humidity change. It is so bad I have to take them off and let them warm up and clear them before I can see! This is what I think living in the pain of the past must be like… walking  out of the cold dark house into the sunshine and not being able to see! In order to walk and move forward I have to clean my lenses!

The beauty of the world is all around us. When you free your soul from hell and torment you will be able to see and appreciate all the beauty surrounding you. From the lady bug in the grass to a magnificent sunset, you will see things much clearer and with a new appreciation for life.

So, here is to walking into the sunshine, cleaning the lenses of our soul so we can appreciate what is in front of us and move forward.