Hot Mess vs. Hot Garbage

There is a difference you know.

Being a hot mess is totally different than being hot garbage. At least a hot mess can be improved upon whereas hot garbage is just that… dressed up garbage.

For example: The Kardashians are hot garbage. No doubt about it. And 75% of the time it has nothing to do with how they look. It is the whole package. The trailer park drama and the BS factor make them dumpster worthy. No amount of makeup, lip fillers, waist training or money will change the fact that they are attention starved fame gamers. It has made them rich, drove them all crazy and God love her, the sanest one of the bunch who was once a man has decided he would rather be a woman.  Hot Garbage… can’t fix it.

 Now, a hot mess, I think maybe the best example of a hot mess I can think of is possibly Paris Hilton. Now you know that girl was raised better than she has acted in the past. She has had the best of everything but consistently acted spoiled and entitled. Because she is a hot mess she has outgrown her wild childishness and now acts like she has some sense. A hot mess can always be rehabilitated…. Hot garbage can only be hauled to the dump.

So, the moral to the story is: if you must be one … be the hot mess… you can always just say you were young and dumb. You can look back on your time as a hot mess and laugh, joke and smile. If you choose to be hot garbage you can look back and do the same but more than likely you will be sitting on top of the trash pile at the local landfill while doing so.

                                   

Resolutions... 2016 Version

Ok – here it is… the New Year Resolution post… I have already written about writing more and being more active on my blog but here are a few more.

1-      Read more – I love to read. But I am torn… between the convenience of an ebook and the love of a real book. I love turning pages. I love the FEEL of a book in my hands. It makes me feel smart. Holding a device and turning digital pages is not the same to me and I think it makes me look like everyone else in the world looking at their phone or tablet. Holding a real book in my hands gives me the opportunity to imagine climbing into the world I am reading about and living the story. I don’t get that same feeling from an ebook. So I am going to read more REAL books.

2-     Appreciate more – I need to appreciate the little things more. The baby steps in this life that add up to the big steps and monumental memories are the ones I want to notice and appreciate more. The dusting can wait. The dishes can wait. When you have the opportunity to spend precious time with someone you love …the little chores can wait.

3-     Save more – Lord have mercy… I am a spender not a saver. I need to save more. I have started collecting all the change laying around the house and have about two mason jars now. I will also start putting away more out of my paycheck each week… if I never see it in there I won’t miss it. A little adds up to a lot over time.

4-     Love more - When I was 30 I thought I knew what love was. Then I had a child. When I was 40 I thought I knew what love was. Then I had another child. When I was 46 I realized I had no idea what the idea of love was… because to love you need to lose. I had never lost someone I loved deeply. And how can you know the depth of your ability to love unless you know the depth of sorrow when that person is gone.  When I lost my mother it was a devastating blow I never saw coming.  But it taught me one thing above all else. I know my personal love gauge now and I am more in touch with how I feel about someone now because I have something to measure it against. Now that I have established this mental love meter I look at the world a little differently. I look at the people I love in my life differently. I treasure them more. And I tell them.

5-     Lose more – Weight that is… 40 pounds gone over a years time. It came off slowly which is good. Now I need to keep it going. There is a pair of pants hanging in my closet…come on… we all have that pair. The goal pants. The pants we wore when we felt we looked our personal best. I have had these pants for 16 years. When I became pregnant with my first child they were hung in the closet. They are still on that same hangar. Sad but true. I will get there one day. And if I don’t do anything but put them on one time and then donate them that is ok.

6-     Try more -  Instead of saying “it is what it is” maybe trying a bit harder and it be “it could be what it could be” . Putting forth that little bit of extra effort and see if that improves some of the situations I would normally cast aside as circumstances beyond my control. Maybe things would turn out differently for everyone with just a bit of positive input.

That is my first list. I am sure there will be another list. And another list. This is going to be an interesting year!!

What are you made of?

Mettle –  noun

a person's ability to cope well with difficulties or to face a demanding situation in a spirited and resilient way.

synonyms: spirit, fortitude, strength of character, moral fiber, steel, determination, resolve, resolution, backbone, grit, true grit, courage, courageousness, bravery, valor, fearlessness, daring

My Granny, Martha, used to refer to someone’s mettle and as a child I was confused because I thought she was saying “metal”. Which in a way was not that far off because I still interpreted it the same. She was talking about what they were made of. They were either strong or soft. With her there was no in between.

                                                                         

When life throws you a challenge you can either step up and give it all you have got or you can fold and wither away. And that is all determined on your mettle. In my family we have a long history of super strong women. These women could deal with anything you threw at them. They were the champions and cheerleaders for us all. When things went sideways they were the ones that pulled everyone up by their bootstraps and carried on. However, when it came to themselves they were the complete opposite. They didn’t fight for themselves, they would fight like hell for everyone else but when the tables were turned they didn’t fight for themselves. When life threw a curve ball at them they were the ones that gave up and withered away.

When it came to themselves, my husband’s family are the complete opposite… these women were not about to give into sickness. They fought to their last breath mainly because they were not willing to give up. They were all of the mindset that the Lord will not put any more on you than you can bear, but he sure can bend you double sometimes.

What are you made of?

If life threw you a curve ball how would you handle it?  Fight or Flight ?

That is your mettle…

Back to the Business of My Business

Every day I think to myself – I need to write something today… and then I don’t.  I have so much and so little to write about. I second guess just about everything that comes across my mind to write about. And then I don’t write. And before I know it a week has passed and I haven’t written a single word. Then a month… and longer…

 I don’t think it is the lack of subject matter, Lord knows I have plenty I can talk about. I think I second guess what anyone reading my blog might find interesting, amusing, enlightening or entertaining. I think of something at least once a day and then I start analyzing it… how much can I write about this, would anyone be interested or even care? I have a standard of at least being able to fill one page in word with any particular posting. If I can’t do that then what I have to say can’t be that important or interesting.

I need to get over that.

I try not to write about anything personal, political, job or family related. So many things are off limits that I have boxed myself in a hole of only a handful of things I can actually write about that won’t offend or hurt someone’s feelings. And that is unfair… to me. It limits me and so much of what I have to say comes from my every day life that excluding those subjects practically makes me verbally impotent.

Here it is and the new year is right around the corner. I already have a resolution.

Write… just write. Regardless of whether or not anyone reads it… just write. Regardless of whether anyone is offended, disagrees or finds it a waste of time… just write.

            

It is my own personal form of therapy. Sometimes it will be rage work… venting about what has really gotten under my skin. Other times it will be funny or inspirational and uplifting. But I will be writing … a lot and often… because it is who I am and why should I deny the world a piece of my mind on a daily basis?