I do believe I might need to be medicated.
At least until I kill that furry nemesis. And honestly he
isn’t little… he is fat as a hog. I guess because he has been feasting on
everything in my pantry for weeks. I walked in there this morning, pulled the
light chain, and there he was… sitting on a can of Rotel. It was a stare down
for about 5 seconds…and then he WINKED AT ME!!! Like
a slow motion cartoon I launched myself, as I screamed my best war cry (think
Braveheart) at that furry bastard and
proceeded to knock everything off the shelf an onto the floor. I look up and
there he was … scurrying up the satellite cable though the hole to the top of
the pantry.
Jack Nicholson in The Shining has nothing on the crazy that
went through me… a flurry of homicidal thoughts run rampant through my mind and
I mentally cross off the worst of the list… shotgun, flame thrower, axe,
mallet.. no… those will do more damage than I care to deal with… AAAHHHH….THE
SPRAY FOAM INSULATION….now where the hell did I see that stuff… FOUND IT~! And
it is a brand new can… OH BOY- IT IS ON NOW.
Yes… conjuring my very best evil laugh… I get the stool out…
and spray that stuff in the hole that was drilled (much too big) for the
satellite cable. Funny thing about spray foam insulation. What you spray
expands exponentially. I know there is a mushroom of that stuff on top of the
pantry because there is an equally large mushroom of it coming out the bottom
of that hole.
Laughing like a mental patient I sashay down the hall to get
ready for work… I hear him up on top of the pantry… mad as hell… and probably
covered in that sticky stuff J
I hope he looses his balance and falls on my snap trap! Good riddance.
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